Words...

Words can motivate,
Words can kill,
Words can bring a smile,
Words can make you love,
Words can bring wars,
Words can bring peace,
Words can enlighten a soul.

I do not cognize a thing until
I don’t form a word for it.

I can’t comprehend why
I write, now, on words.

If he controls the sense organs,
He has controlled himself.
If he controls his mouth,
He has controlled the whole world.
I know not of control. Any control.
I lost discipline…
I lost all…

I can’t comprehend why
I write, now, on words.

I do not maketh the soul,
Which seeks preachers.

Giving in the senses’ pleasure.
Sense’s power, pride, preference
I started losing each of it.
Hands, legs, eyes and finally mouth.
Abandoning the controls did I lose
Trust… from people, never lost before.
Words have done a wonder on me.

I can’t comprehend much why
I write, now, on words.

Preachers were past to me
Deaf hears are only here.

Words can bring trust
Words can bring faith
Words can bring a soul
A soul to bring meaning to life.
And more meaning to death.
Because death becomes life.
Paradoxical life, don’t we lead!

I can comprehend why
I write, now, on words.

Here I am…leading to nowhere
Gone past the spaces to kill.

Murders, communion…
What difference does it make
To a soul which has lost value of senses.
Because I lost words… I lost preachers…
I lost discipline… I lost discrimination…
I lost whole value system…
I lost a birth…

Kill, my lord, the unruly mind
Guide me to the feet of yours.

happiness thru unhappiness

How happy things affects the world at large! How happy things make it unhappy…. How much do one has to put up with happiness…
I dint know Man can be such a creature. A creature known only to destroy… only to discover what he could destroy… and happiness is one thing he wants to destroy… don’t ask me, "why the heck would Man want to destroy happiness? When all hes been doing for ages is attain that happiness?" …. Well my answer would be "that he imagined to be happiness." Those of you who understood good for you. Full stop.
I happen to realize very recently that man actually doesn’t need happiness, its more psychological … he wanted to be happy, unfortunately he is not, so he says I am better being unhappy. That is one point of view, which a dunce might choose, a little better headed might go for … "the sympathy play" – "look how sad iam! Look how many problems I have on my head. Look how responsible I should behave and how difficult it is be like me. And finally look at me, I am putting up with all this."
Now that’s like a psychological play, the unknown mind would have performed a task like this when you were very young. Now analyse yourself – how many people when kids, had been happy to tie a brightly shown bandage to school????!!! How happy you were when showing friends that you have been hurt? How you displayed it? Look at your little brain then, it had already calculated the bloody world right then. And now you are big enough to cognize this, it has nurtured itself into something more.
Now, you are happy seeing yourself unhappy! Precisely, you are happy you are being observed, you are happy you are pitied, you are happy you are unique because you are being talked about ‘how unhappy you are’. Don’t tell me you don’t. you would be fooling yourself. Just accept as is and, try switching over the plugs… it makes a difference to be happy when you are happy but not talked about!
I know a man at my work place... we are given enough work to spend some 12 hours at office everyday on a particular month!... he is a kind of a person who shows the tension on his face. A tension which tells the other man that, ‘ I have a problem much bigger than that of what you have.’ I used to wonder why was everybody so tensed about everything, bloody hell, they are in this office working hard, and so unhappy with what they are doing and yet proud of it because they have a problem bigger than others. Because they have a responsibility bigger than others. Because they have a seen the reality of life! Well, I put this sentence now because, that’s the trend now. Everybody who is suffering their neck-off have seen the reality of life… more you suffer, the more you seen from life.
And now comes another man, who is totally happy all time. Having equal number of work, equal number responsibility on his head. But he is found happy all the time. What is he talked about? – "he is never working. What does he know about office and home responsibility?" but actually he might be the one who is able. But unfortunately he is happy! I know how people get so frustrated by looking at him. Oh ghosh, the kind of hatred that he faces from others, reason being, he is happy.
And, did you realize that, movies which have a sad ending is always a big hit? That’s called reality they say. You see a miserable movie, they say….thats reality. You see a damn happy-ending movie, damn nicey-nice movie…’oh, what a imaginable world are they in?..no way it can happen in my life, atleast.’
And have you realized one another thing – that people keep asking you of your weakness?!...i don’t want to give examples here… I just hate questions which can bring you down.
So, what is this that makes man so happy with unhappiness? Why does he beat around unhappiness?
Realize that, a happy life, a happy soul, a smiling face has a reality in life too. Realize that, happy minds succeed better (but ofcuz without much recognition in the short run), climb the ladder with a smile…you might see people pullin you down…don’t stop, keep deaf ears and continue to climb with a smile.

i was on vacation, 6 full days... one of the most pleasant days i can cherish my life time... i aint writing all that i had done cuz it wud ages for you read, so iam sparing you ( wont get dat chance very often!!! :P) very well... so i left to chennai directly from Hyderabad... and guess what... i left in such a hurry that the ratio of boarding the train was 1:2.... but thankfully, the train was worse than me!! haha... it delayed by 15 min!


you know i jus realised iam narratings things on my blog!!! no no thats not the purpose... but hey, few exceptions are always allowed in any kind of culture...and especially in Indian culture! :P


so here i go ...


i went to my Bro's frn's home...refreshed and left for the university, finished the formalities and went to my Guru's home, had to meet him regarding the admissions (and glad i met him, it has been a very long time)...was very good!

went to my frn's place... had a very long long chat until 3 45 AM then slept woke up...it was my frn's b'day...had loads n loads of fun!!! it was such a great day... and spent like 2 days just with frns arnd.... beautiful mornings, lovly afternoons and pleasant evenings and chattin nights....well (so many undisclosed.... u dont hav to everything i did.. okay! btw... this is not a narratory blog...:P) kewl... everything went smoothly and a wonderful time i would cherish my lifetime!

came back home .... home sweet home.... thatha, ammamma, amma, nana, raghu mama, hyma pinni... evrybody thr! it was fun.... my thatha being the hero ofcuz... grabs the attention of everybody in watever health condition he is. you shud meet him...he is a walkin encyclopedia... you can talk to him about any topic... his best choice - geagraphy, next comes astrology... philosophy.... income tax....corruption....animals...birds....human ( a lil bad at it...cuz he is a perfectionist and expects evrybody to be so...even me??!!!! how can i be?? hehehe...) anything under the sun and even above it! he can talk about "Sirius" star... he would tell you a world of information about that, about salvation/enlightement... he loves and appreciates music than even the best singer known... i can write a book on him... a blog is jus not enough! but now...he is not keeping well... he is pretty old... but he has (acoording to me) crossed the borders of body control over mind... i dont understand y he is still unwell wen he can fight very well...God has somthing in store ...iam sure! so i spent with him a lot of time...infact i want keep spending time only with him...takin care of him.... i hope iam granted that gracefulness from the Lord to take care of a great soul.

well.... with a very heart i left the place... back to the old dungeaon of office... the Arctic Fridge...where one cannot breath pleasant air...only the chillness of ice....i dont understand y do they keep it so damn cold... iam very confident if i continue here for long i ll jus freeze to die! but ofcuz i shud mention this... ppl here are so warm...may b...by these nice ppl i might jus walk due to their warmthness! :) (A)... (i knw iam such an angel! )

alright... today's post was basiaclly a narration...i will post some nice things from next one....( not as if this is not nice...but its def borin for a person who is reading this unknwn article...) dat too not a very humourous one. now a days who wants borin-sentimental articles....everybody wants to laugh...(bcuz thats the only thing which is in scarce...) and for me thats the only thing a Soul should always search for....In Eternal Bliss...

June 17th

today is my friend's birthday.... she s sangeetha!

happy birthday sangee....!!!

i am actually leaving back home from office... and really i have nothing on my mind to post...except to re-iterate what happened during the day, which i feel is the most boring thing to do...what use is that??? putting in words what already happened...only if it was something eruditing or some pearls of wisdom...but as if somthing of that sort might happen in my life!! :P

alright... you keep smiling... no matter what...

Impact day -- activity thread --happiness behind bars

impacting lives... one act which gives utmost satisfaction!

thats exactly what we tried to do on saturday... it was a program arranged by my office... we had to go to different kind of people and make an impact on them as we supposedly believe that we are eligible for this!

so my friends, sneha, chanchal, hema and me...chose the group which was going to the central jail...cherlapalli, A.P. it was a mixed feeling... i dint quite knw at first if i should pity them or i shud be gettin frustated at the law breakers i was about to meet, interact, smile along with them and make them smile as well..!! do they need it? i dint knw... but i was all ready to go meet them anyway...imagining my so-called nice sober face would impact in being nice to people they hadn't been nice...thinking my eyes would convey that righteous way of life...

we were a group of nearly 100 people from my office to go out there to a central jail where we would find umpteen murderers, theives, law breakers, dowry-asking-brats, bribing culprits...and we had to impact them!

well, so we set off in 3 buses... when we first arrived, we saw at the entrance nearly 25-30 police men guarding with huge guns...i dunno the names of it...thou i guess its AK47. and my eyes caught a couple of healthy , tidy looking men over the window on the first floor... there were wearing white dresses jus like convicts on the TV... amazed that were so happily gazing at us! then came the actual view of a convict...handcuffed, guarded by 4 policemen...and charging to a closed van... the actual imaginable scene of a prison!

the vicinity spread over few miles... i was told it occupied 128 acres...occupants of the area being--- huge green trees, lovly garden, an open air auditorium, agricultural farm, prison cells (barecks and also enclosed prison), 200 police men, 2000 prisoners!!!

we enetered the main entrance... and then from there we had to walk about 20 yards inside only to find a huge open air auditorium... beautiful one i shud say...the walk as well... the gardens well kept, the auditorium well set up...everything maintained and done by the convicts!

we were made to sit there.. the right of the audi was occupied by my company personnel and left, convicts... the ice breaker was one of the personnel who sang a soong... from the prisoners side, there was a convict named jagdish, who put up a good show of mimicry... a very humourous one i shud say. well... very many people put up many different shows... singing, poems, dancing...et all.... there was one exception... one person played flute...and i shud say this, he was awesome at it. he also was unlike a criminal...he was sober, shy, handsome as well! god knows why he ended up in such a place! he also played harmonium. there was a 'gazel' troupe as well... one dolak, harmonium and one singer! and i shud mention this singer to u... he is a scientist! PhD in life science (food processing)... he spoke a better english than any of us! later when i was with one on one with DIG, he mentioned to me that, the scientist killed his wife, cuz she had a relationship with another fellow! "circumstances should not rule us"- was my only thought!... and the best part, i grabbed that sentence from that very fellow who is inside the prison for 8 yrs now, n yet to complete 6 more yrs !

well... i shud also mention to u about the barecks... they r comfortable to liv in... a TV, a pooja shelf, a neat clothes hanger, marble floor and to top it... a carrom board game!

there was a volley ball game for the accused... it was fun cuz many of them were tough competants.

we were all out there...so-called good citizens of India...admist the 'recognized' law breaker...smiling, laughin and having a ball of a time...

accoriding to the IG... the prison is a place where they make the convicts ready to go out and settle back in a peaceful life in the outter world!

i see people who regret of they have done...but .... i am sure they are in a way enjoyin the life there..inside...a pollution free, safe, healthy, friendly environment.

but i believe that this aim to impact these convicts and helping them to smile and learn somthing... during their punishment period is utter senseless... (that might be a harsh word) but my thoughts are.... they hav done a mistake...hurt some soul... should they be given priviledges like learning and earning and enjoying...??? what they are given there is complete comfort... they aren't missing anything but their families whom they hav themselves killed a few, or hurt a few...

if given a chance i would spend a summer there just to enjoy....!!! can u beat that??? thats how it is...!

ofcuz... i shud also mention that... this place is hauted by negative forces... negative thoughts, negative deeds...

but people who r immersed in it would only enjoy the pleasure .... regression is the later part...cuz they r havin what they want in there...! bread, cloth, shelter! .....happiness, these ppl find it anywhere... u knw.... only they dont hav "women and liquor"... which is only good for them...(only they wunt realize its good)...

all in all... i learnt somthing on that day.... "dont allow situations to fall out of your hand. you are your life's control machine."

gratification

thank you! for what ever you have done, for what you have been... for what you are to me!
iam thanking my Lord! i have asked for so many things from him, he has always promised me to give and has kept giving...
i feel i shouldn't really thank Him, cause do you thank your loved ones???
but the gratification exceeds me! i dunno how to explain it! i feel like, bursting a balloon full of beautiful soft flowers and stand right under it...! its a pleasant day out there... and iam sitting here inside this huge concrete building with air stuffed inside in conditioned to a much lower temperature than required which basically makes people shiver to death... i wont be surprised if i die one day over here, shivering like "Jack" in Titanic under Arctic ocean..! :P
alright, am i deviating too much??? well... excuse me... so yeah coming back to square one...did u realise it.... when i said iam thanking... n how i explained it.... i said "I" want to stand under the bursting balloon!!! infact ... now i realise no... i want to make th Lord stand and watch him enjoyin it...

this is a beautiful pic... see close... for 5 min... starin at it..u will realize that the picture is so much close to ur life story! its awesome! u wont believe what you see...

watch now...

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10...

got the point??! did u hav a close look? understood?

;) the usual me....! trickin u...lik any another fwd!!! theres nothin which s gonna pop out! hehe...those fwds...such diabolic brats! anyway,...this pic shows good philosophy!

a cycle of life and death!

i had been to my home during the weekend, we had a long weekend due to strike! home sweet home...! i jus dint want to return bac, who wud want to??!! i hate tears! n i jus shed wen i was in train!...

alright...my grandad isnt doin well... its so poignant ...he is my inspiration in all tracks! he is a great soul... god should hav a better plan fo him..iam sure!

i wante dto write so much more abt my trip ... but aint writin any.. dunno y... wen puttin before everybody i feel the emotions reduce...so aint writin any! :)

so bac to office ... got up so late (anything new?) and came to office at 11....

and u knw thw worst part.. i hate auto fellows.. i really hate them.. i wa sina hurry go to bac home on 5 june, thr was a cab strike..so auto zindabad... and dat guy asked fo 200.. bargained fo 200... reasonable i shud say... then changed by direction half way direct to bus station cuz it was gettin late...now he asked 50 more, i accepted... but hold on... before i got into the auto, he wanted change to giv it to somebody else.. i have 100rs... and i completly forgot!!!!!! bad very bad me....

now while gettin down, i give him 250, thank him on top n walk away...!!!!

i hate me... on top i hate these fellows.. they r always thr to pull ur money!!!

well my companys says they wud reimburse me (sole reason i got an auto! ;), otherwise how cud i even afford dat 250) .... so dats the reason i ahte auto fellows, and everywhr i wud end fightin wid dem...my very best frn keeps sayin to me...do not fight with auto fellows...but who listens...he is my best frn n listne to him...except this...fo the sole reason they are out there just to cheat!

well... now... i hav little work to do... let me get back...

cioa...